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ALAN'S NOT-SO SERIOUS WORKS
(Unless otherwise indicated, lyrics and music for all selections are by Alan Seidler. The songs are listed in approximate chronological order. More precise dates are only given when there is reasonable certainty of their accuracy. Additional information is given as deemed appropriate by the Handbook Staff.)This list of Alan's less-than-serious works is a daunting and ongoing challenge to those of us who have been involved with it, given that it dates back virtually to Alan's infancy, and, outside of the relatively small percentage of works that are commercially available, is entirely dependent upon the time constraints, continued good will and accurate memories of those persons (including Alan himself) who are helping to compile it.
As it attempts to cover a period of time in excess of 40 years and a variety of non-classical genres ranging from simple one-and two-line chants to full-length songs in a plethora of styles ranging from traditional love ballads, rock and R&B numbers and retro-pop parodies to ragtime, blues, and just about everything in between, we of the Handbook Staff by no means claim that this list (a continuous work-in-progress) is completely chronological, completely alphabetical, or, most of all, completely complete.
Every effort is being made to make things easier for you, the reader, by marking such numbers as have been commercially recorded with an asterisk (*) and highlighting songs for which complete lyrics are available so that the interested reader can click on them and view full texts. When either the lyrics or the music for a particular item is not entirely Alan's original work, that fact has been indicated and the original sources for the material given.
Please have patience with us as we attempt to pursue this task to a reasonable conclusion, if indeed such a thing is possible. Also, if any of you out there are aware of any glaring omissions and can help the list to grow and become more accurate and complete, please feel free to Contact Us, and, above all, enjoy!
Thank you.
Tootah! Tootah! Teddy Bear (tune is California, Here I Come [1924] by Buddy De Sylva, Lew Brown, Ray Henderson and Al Jolson.)
I'm Alan The King of Boys (tune is I'm Popeye The Sailor Man from the cartoon serial Popeye.)
Animals, Animals, Marching On Parade
The Dogs Are Coming Into Dogtown (tune is Battle Hymn of the Republic by Henry Ward Beecher and Julia Howe.)
Oh It's Chang, Oh It's Chang, Oh It's Chang, Chang, Chang!
*Never, Oh Never, Whatever You Do, Sing A Gorilla Song (May 6, 1963) Lyrics are actually mostly by Jack Seidler (Alan's father), who declined copyright or other commercial credit when the song was released on The Duke of Ook in January 1975.
Close To Me (November 1964) Lyrics are by Jack and Martha Seidler (Alan's parents).
Someone Who Adores You
Always Remember That I Love You
Another Time, Another Place (Who Knows What Might Have Been) - these three songs, penned between 1964 and 1966, are syrupy and embarrassing mementos of Alan's first "puppy love" affair. Included here only for the sake of completeness with the sheepish apologies of the Handbook Staff to Mr. Seidler.
*Standing By (late 1964 or early 1965)-Lyrics and music by Alan Seidler and Jeffrey Dews. Dews transferred ownership to Johnnie Taylor without Alan's consent, and Taylor, after some minor alterations, had the song copyrighted as God Is Standing By, in which form it has been recorded by Taylor, Al Green, others.
Isn't It So Very Treeb (Like A Met, Like A Feeb)
Ook-Ook The Gorilla Was A Big Old Hairy Ape
The Zero Song
The Riot Song (a/k/a/ "In A Riot") - these two songs are all that remain of an unfinished musical comedy called Mr. Futility, written c. 1965-66. Lyrics and music are by Alan. The book was partially the work of Paul Sklar. The plot involved an anarchist trying to throw a suburban school system into chaos.
We Gotta Get Some, We Gotta Get Some, Everybody Knows That We Gotta Get Some (1967 or later)
Vito's Blues (a/k/a "I'm A Vito") -1968. Not to be confused with Old Vitoville Blues (see 1970-1979), later released on The Duke of Ook.
Sure, Sure, Say "Ya-Ya", Say "Ya-Ya", Sure (1968)
It's Herbibiwis, Won't Eat Meat (1968)
Sta, Sta, Starambofoli (1969)
Fash (1969) - released on The Duke of Ook.
*The Once-It-Was-Herbibiwis-But-Now-It's-Anemic Rag (1970)- released on The Duke of Ook
Specatacatah, Croixtgairg, Jubwuff (a/k/a "Specatacatah Song") Lyrics are by Timothy Aurthur (1971)
Faw-e-vah (With A Big Tongue) Lyrics by Timothy Aurthur and Alan Seidler (1971)
Percival Kulpdeem (a/k/a/ "Of Poor P.K., Scopginfawildiponiquiosimus") Lyrics by Timothy Aurthur (1972)
Someone Stole My Hat At A Lebanese Wedding (1972)
Big Big Oom-Big Big, Reedle-eedle-eedle, Oom-Big Big (1972)
*Three Mute Kaws (1973)-tune is Three Blind Mice (Anonymous) Lyrics by Alan with additional lyrics by various friends and acquaintances- released on Morning Impromptus/Evening Bacchanals (Takoma Records, 1974)
*Wilopsinkadoly Street Strut (1973)-instrumental- released on Morning Impromptus/Evening Bacchanals
*Yapskwuger Rag (1973)-instrumental-released on Morning Impromptus/Evening Bacchanals
I'm A-Beefin' And A-Brewin' (1973) Lyrics by Timothy Aurthur and Alan Seidler
Eleven Lunatical Puvs (1974) Lyrics by Alan Seidler and Jane DiSanto- parody of Three Mute Kaws, which, of course, is itself a parody of Three Blind Mice
I Deserve A Medal, Not An Eighty-Six (1975)
My Hooves Have Fur (1975)
Oh, The Substance On The Furry Hooves Is Fur (1975)-tune is a modification of She'll Be Comin' Round The Mountain When She Comes-lyrics by Alan, who had it translated into French, German, Italian, Russian, Yiddish, Greek, Spanish, Chinese and a few other languages and sent copies to various U.N. diplomats with the suggestion that if they met at high noon and sang it together, it would help bring about world peace. Obviously the suggestion was never followed (or even acknowledged, according to Alan).
So What? (1978)
The following songs were written at various unspecified times throughout the 1970s:
*Old Vitoville Blues- released on The Duke of Ook
*Oozing Cyst Blues- lyrics by Timothy Aurthur- released on The Duke of Ook
*Oozin', Just Oozin For You-lyrics by Alan Seidler and Timothy Aurthur- released on The Duke of Ook
*Puv Hooves- released on The Duke of Ook
Fash Feeder Blues
*Won't You Come And Be Profligerate?-released on The Duke of Ook
*The Universal Uk-lyrics by Alan Seidler and David Rosengren- released on The Duke of Ook
Tell Me Why You Canteloupe With Me Ðlyrics by Alan Seidler and David Rosengren
Herbily It Sticks Its Tongue-tune is Mary Had A Little Lamb
Cast Into The Flowing Pea Soup of Vongolona- this is actually not a musical number at all but is included as one of the few surviving complete examples of the "group poetry" written by Alan and various friends (in this case, Arnold Fern) during the late 1960s and early 1970s in late-night round-table writing sessions.
*What Is The Use of Calling Me San?-released on The Duke of Ook
*D-O-A-P (a/k/a "The Dope Song")-released on The Duke of Ook
*All By Myself (Without No Ape)-music is All By Myself by Irving Berlin (1925). Lyrics by Mr. Berlin were drastically revised by Alan, causing Mr. Berlin and Irving Berlin Music, Inc.to file suit against Alan and Blue Goose Records when the number was released on The Duke of Ook. The suit was eventually dropped and permission granted to use the song on the album with payment of appropriate royalties.
*What Sort of a Vuv?- lyrics by Alan Seidler and Timothy Aurthur-released on The Duke of Ook
The Yeast At The Bottom of The Watney's Ðlyrics by Timothy Aurthur
Put Your Trust In The Mad Jubwuffer (He Jubwuffs For You)- lyrics by Alan Seidler and Timothy Aurthur.
But In Hadjcaloopsie, The Feathers of Marquisendatch Have Ascended The Throne, Only To Find It Hairy
Wilopsinkadoly Street In Gazakulun
My Big Hooves Are Covered With Fur
Kangaroo, Kangaroo, Kangaroo, Roo, Roo! (1980)
Lie To Me (1980)-lyrics by Alan and unknown co-lyricist
What Are They Covered With? What Are They Covered With? (Fur! Fur!) (1986)
The following songs were written at various points during the 1980s:
Outie, Outie, Outie (Outrage Blues)
Small And Bald, Small And Bald, Don't Tell Me They're Small And Bald!
Rillabush, Rillabush, Rillabush Zu!
Old MacDonald Had Big Hooves, Covered-overed Up With Fur (tune is Old MacDonald Had A Farm)
1990-1999
Oh My Furry Little Hoovies, They Should Be In the Movies ('Cause They're
Covered Right Up With Fur) (1992)
A Gorilla With Hooves,
A Gorilla With Hooves (We Gotta Find A Gorilla With Hooves) (1995)
The Stuffywuff Song
(1995)
We Gotta Chain-Chew
(1996)
Are You Furry Tonight?
(1996)-tune is Are You Lonesome Tonight? (1919) by Lew Coslow and
Sam Young. Lyrics drastically revised by Alan, but no lawsuits have been
filed to date.
Choices And Clues (a/k/a/
"Just Like Abraham Lincoln") (1997)
Hoove Ape, Hoove Ape,
Have You Any Fur? (1997)-tune is an amalgamation of Twinkle,
Twinkle, Little Star and Baa, Baa, Black Sheep, Have
You Any Wool?
The following songs were written at various unspecified times during the 1990s:
Oom Rur, The Oom-Rur Rur
Furhoof The Ape (tune derived from Lil' Liza Jane [Anonymous]
Vocalise: Like A Hooved, Hooved, Hooved Hooved Hooved, Hooved, Hooved, Hooved. Hooved, Hooved. Hooved, Hooved, Hooved, Hooved, Hooved Ape, Ape, Ape!
Subatinga Ragajaga Jinga,
Specatacatoe (a/k/a/ "Bellevue Love Song") (2000)
The Headless Horseman
And The Hooveless Horse (2000)
Watermelon Pit Giraffe (2002)
Sara Without An 'H' (2002)
I'm A Christmas Hoove Ape (2002)
What Do You Get But A Hoove Ape? (2005)
Gorillas Will Grab You If You Don’t Watch Out (2005)
International Hoove-Dog (2005)
The following songs were written at various unspecified times during the
1990s:
Oom Rur, The Oom-Rur Rur
Furhoof The Ape (tune derived from Lil' Liza Jane [Anonymous])
Vocalise: Like A Hoovèd, Hoovèd, Hoovèd Hoovèd
Hoovèd, Hoovèd, Hoovèd, Hoovèd, Hoovèd,
Hoovèd, Hoovèd, Hoovèd, Hoovèd, Hoovèd,
Hoovèd Ape, Ape, Ape!