Percival Kulpdeem Percival Kulpdeem put on his tophat Wondering where he should go: He espeied a barstool and upon it he sat And laid down his portofolio. Percival Kulpdeem drank till his maw Began to feel leaden as clay. He sunk, and his hunk went "kerplunk" to the floor As down in his vomit he lay. "Percival, Percival, where should you be? You certaintly musn't stay here!" "I should be with the mayor but I cannot see A foot to my front or my rear." "Percival Kulpdeem, why do you 'kulp,' Without any reason that's visible?" "The reason I 'kulp' is, instead of a gulp, To make my intestines less mizzable." "Merciful Percival, better watch out--- You'll lose all you've worked for to gain!" Percival Kulpdeem started to shout, "YOU DON'T MEAN MY NICOTINE STAIN???" Lyrics by Timothy Aurthur; Music by Alan Seidler ©1974 by Simian Press, A Div. of Ook Ook Productions, Inc.